La Gazzetta di Messelia

Trivano Town's Health Crisis Traced Back to The Hospital
Marta Pezzaloni

View of the Lavorio Royal Laboratory

Padiglione. An official inquiry by the Department of Health of Trivano has suggested that the recent health crisis in certain small towns can be traced back to the Lavorio Royal Laboratory.

Health Commissioner Mario D'Emilio presented, in a press conference this morning, the results of a six-week investigation into the reports of ailments and health issues in at least 200 people, living in small towns in northern Trivano. Symptons included nausea, loss of muscular mobility and eventually loss of consciousness. While the initial theory was that a new viral strain was affecting these towns, the affair took on a conspiratorial air after the Department of Health started an investigation and restricted all access to information on the ill. Commissioner D'Emilio then announced that an investigation would take place to determine the source of the ailments, and to ensure that no additional people would be affected.

The report, which has been made available to the press, indicates that all those who became ill have been successfully cured, though it admits that identifying the source of the illness has proven impossible. The following passage, from the report's summary, is particularly interesting:

Efforts to identify the source of the pathogen have proven elusive, despite the best intentions of the Department, due to the refusal of the Lavorio Royal Laboratory to provide information on its activities, and on its connection to the aforementioned health crisis. Without such information, and with the continued refusal of the Privy Council to provide authorisation for access to it, it will be difficult to ascertain, now or ever, what the pathogen truly was, or how to combat its effects, should it present itself again.

Sources close to the Department of Health, who spoke on condition of anonymity, say that the patients were cured only because the Lavorio Royal Laboratory provided medicine, but neither hospitals, nor the Department of Health, were allowed to examine this medicine afterwards. Known as "The Hospital", Lavorio Royal Laboratory is no stranger to controversy and conspiracy theories. In a similar incident in 1994, The Hospital was accused by Angelo Soriano, then the Lieutenant Governor of Trivano, of working with the Sartorian Army to create pathogens and chemical weapons, from the recovered remains of extraterrestrials. While the accusation was not taken seriously, it did spark interest in the secrecy of the business conducted at The Hospital, which to this day remains classified.