hi

Hi, I'm Aethelia. Or Jacqueline/Jackie, because even after a decade of being on the internet, apparently I will never get used to be referred to by a screen name as it always feels weird to me.

I've been on NationStates for quite awhile. Mostly just to answer issues, I find politics interesting, probably coming from a family that enjoys arguing about everything. I've only recently realized that people socialize on NS too. It's hard for me, but I've decided to join in, at least for finding a good region since the NS forum is a rather toxic community. The last region I tried to join sadly went inactive. I'm not sure if they liked me anyway. So, looking around and seeing the moon symbology and references to the Byzantine Empire, both topics that interest me, I decided this region looked good and wanted to try again here.

I have a lot of trouble socializing... I hope that won't be a problem. It's especially scary being around a lot of men, or any men, so I hope I'm not alone here... I'm trying to act confident but it gets hard when so worried about being seen as a failure or disappointment, or looking weak or stupid.

I'm not sure what I can offer here. I don't have much to be proud of. Mostly I just read a lot. Wheel of Time is my favorite series, but I'm familiar with many books. I also try to read a lot to gain useful knowledge from skill books, so I know about things like bridge design, car repair, music theory, military history, statistics, software programming, wilderness survival, astrophysics, etc. Just about everything that sounds interesting other than language, which I have exceptionally high difficulty learning for some reason.

I'll try not to let it ruin anything, but I do have some severe problems with depression, paranoia, and possibly unverified PTSD. I hope to be at least passably good at roleplay, as finding escape through fantasy is the best relief from the pain of reality that I know of.

I shouldn't end with that... something positive... how about, though I have lost a lot in my life, since the day everything changed for me, I like holding onto memories and things from my past, they remind me of when I used to be happy, and one thing I like to hang onto from my younger self is my old dream of being a famous singer someday. It'll never happen now, but that doesn't even make me sad, I just like to imagine being a singer just for myself. I even hum a lot. Not even known songs, I don't care much for copying the work of others, I make my own lyrics and melodies. Next to fantasy, singing is my favorite pleasure. I suppose that's not very relevant to a text-based internet forum, I think I just often need happy thoughts to keep going.

Hi, I'm Aethelia. Or Jacqueline/Jackie, because even after a decade of being on the internet, apparently I will never get used to be referred to by a screen name as it always feels weird to me.

Hello! My IRL name is Alonso if that makes you feel more comfortable

I have a lot of trouble socializing... I hope that won't be a problem. It's especially scary being around a lot of men, or any men, so I hope I'm not alone here... I'm trying to act confident but it gets hard when so worried about being seen as a failure or disappointment, or looking weak or stupid.

I'm good at socializing, but not so great at making friends, per se. I get rather nervous around people too, constantly worrying whether or not I'm annoying them or not, or if they're all judging me because of my weight. My constant worry is being seen as the weirdo kid that people are too kind to tell to go away.

I'm not sure what I can offer here. I don't have much to be proud of. Mostly I just read a lot. Wheel of Time is my favorite series, but I'm familiar with many books. I also try to read a lot to gain useful knowledge from skill books, so I know about things like bridge design, car repair, music theory, military history, statistics, software programming, wilderness survival, astrophysics, etc. Just about everything that sounds interesting other than language, which I have exceptionally high difficulty learning for some reason.

I'm sure there's a lot you can offer here! Everyone here has offered something new to the forum. As someone studying civil engineering, I'd love to know about your thoughts on bridge design! As a musician, I'm glad I won't be the only one who knows (well, I tried to learn - but that's a separate story) a little something about music theory. And as a lover of history in general, how wars are fought and won/lost is rather interesting to me.

I'll try not to let it ruin anything, but I do have some severe problems with depression, paranoia, and possibly unverified PTSD. I hope to be at least passably good at roleplay, as finding escape through fantasy is the best relief from the pain of reality that I know of.

It's not a ruin. If you ever need to take time off, we'll understand. Also, many of us are beginning RPers, and I'm sure you'll do just fine.

...I just like to imagine being a singer just for myself. I even hum a lot. Not even known songs, I don't care much for copying the work of others, I make my own lyrics and melodies. Next to fantasy, singing is my favorite pleasure.

I don't imagine per se, but I still have a Saxophone, and I like to do improvised solos.

I'm sure everyone here has some social problems, or at least I do I guess, I'm not so sure actually but I guess that's my problem, I can never figure anyone out, motives, thoughts about me etc. So don't feel like your the only lets say 'different person' here, because I'm sure that people who did like to socialize wouldn't be on a roleplaying site anyway.
And don't take anything I said in a bad way.
Also I suck at P.E and that's basically a death sentence when your in school.

-beautiful post, well written, hopeful for the future-

Bonvenon al Selene.
Welcome to Selene.

If you have any questions, feel free to telegram myself or Justinian Kalominos, the Founder and my friend.

That being said, the name on my birth certificate says David, and if you're more comfortable using that, feel free to.

Bonvenon to Selene, again. Thank you for picking us.

Edit: I'd also like to say, don't be afraid. We aren't terrible people. We don't bite. I know I just bark, but then again, I'm a dog myself.