Aethelia Wrote:Hi, I'm Aethelia. Or Jacqueline/Jackie, because even after a decade of being on the internet, apparently I will never get used to be referred to by a screen name as it always feels weird to me.
Hello! My IRL name is Alonso if that makes you feel more comfortable
Aethelia Wrote:I have a lot of trouble socializing... I hope that won't be a problem. It's especially scary being around a lot of men, or any men, so I hope I'm not alone here... I'm trying to act confident but it gets hard when so worried about being seen as a failure or disappointment, or looking weak or stupid.
I'm good at socializing, but not so great at making friends, per se. I get rather nervous around people too, constantly worrying whether or not I'm annoying them or not, or if they're all judging me because of my weight. My constant worry is being seen as the weirdo kid that people are too kind to tell to go away.
Aethelia Wrote:I'm not sure what I can offer here. I don't have much to be proud of. Mostly I just read a lot. Wheel of Time is my favorite series, but I'm familiar with many books. I also try to read a lot to gain useful knowledge from skill books, so I know about things like bridge design, car repair, music theory, military history, statistics, software programming, wilderness survival, astrophysics, etc. Just about everything that sounds interesting other than language, which I have exceptionally high difficulty learning for some reason.
I'm sure there's a lot you can offer here! Everyone here has offered something new to the forum. As someone studying civil engineering, I'd love to know about your thoughts on bridge design! As a musician, I'm glad I won't be the only one who knows (well, I tried to learn - but that's a separate story) a little something about music theory. And as a lover of history in general, how wars are fought and won/lost is rather interesting to me.
Aethelia Wrote:I'll try not to let it ruin anything, but I do have some severe problems with depression, paranoia, and possibly unverified PTSD. I hope to be at least passably good at roleplay, as finding escape through fantasy is the best relief from the pain of reality that I know of.
It's not a ruin. If you ever need to take time off, we'll understand. Also, many of us are beginning RPers, and I'm sure you'll do just fine.
Aethelia Wrote:...I just like to imagine being a singer just for myself. I even hum a lot. Not even known songs, I don't care much for copying the work of others, I make my own lyrics and melodies. Next to fantasy, singing is my favorite pleasure.
I don't imagine per se, but I still have a Saxophone, and I like to do improvised solos.