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History of Nuclear War and the End of Cake

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In the year 1973, the Seven Republics and the Thalassocracy of Parthenopias began a war that was to last a mere two and a half hours. It was the most destructive war that this planet had ever endured. The reason for this war? Well, for the past 30 years the two counties had been in a state of cold war and hated each other with the burning passion of a billion nuclear missiles. But who shot first? Parthenopias, the stuck up islanders. It happened like this: the Archon, elected ruler of their back water country, was enjoying some fine and delicious cake. The cake was the called the Pink Pollen Cake and was made with real pollen. As such, when the most illustrious of citizens, Archon Pandora, went to take her first bite she sneezed. When she did this she accidentally slammed her fist on her desk. But it was not her desk that she she ended up hitting! OH NOOOOOO. It was a big, bright, blue, button!!! And like that, the missiles went flying!

"Oh no! Whatever have I done!", shouted the Archon. "I should probably inform someone and tell them this is a mistake! But... this cake is veryyyyy goood, and I do so veryyy much want to finish it. I'm sure my cabinet will be able to sort things out in the morning." And like that, the Archon, wisest of the humans, died while eating cake.

But wait! There is more to this story! It was not the nukes, which Septima launched in retaliation, that killed this thicc lady, it was the Archon herself! With the fork in the Rhombus Office! (What a strange shape) She chocked while eating! As such, she was not there to witness the end of her most wondrous country and the world.


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